Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Spring fling.

I mentioned a guy last time -- #214 -- and wrote that he seemed promising.    Update: we had a second date, and he just didn't seem as warm and friendly as he did the first time -- put simply, he just didn't seem like he was having a good time with me.    Not surprising, I never heard from him after that.   I was slightly disappointed, but meh... onward!  

There have been a few other dates -- some high / low lights:  
* there was the date that was my "second shift" plan for the evening, after a big dinner with nine friends.    I drank wayyyy too much at that dinner -- not only was I a bit drunk for my 10 pm date, but I had lost my voice.   Not the best first impression!    (however, I was sober enough to realize that I wasn't into the guy anyway)   Still, good lesson to learn -- don't overschedule.   
* a date with Smooch - in the past, we'd had a few casual dates between 2009 and 2011.   No great romance there, but he's a fun time.    
* a date with the Young Brazilian (a second date is planned for this weekend).   He's seven years my junior.   A few days after our first date, I literally ran past him on the street while I was out with my running club.   We each did a double-take, and said a quick "hi", and I had to keep going.   So -- now he's seen me without makeup.   I'm hoping I was running too quickly for him to really notice!    

Still feeling very non-committal at the moment.   Keeping things light and fun.  Spring is in the air, and I'm getting very, very excited for cute summer dresses and strappy sandals.  

My main focus for the moment is my VERY FIRST half-marathon coming up -- just two weeks away!    Hope I don't lose any toenails before then!   

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Back "out there"

It’s been nearly two months since my breakup with Sam.     I do still miss him quite a bit, but have (mostly) been good at shelving those feelings.   We occasionally exchange a cordial email, and every time I hear his email “voice”, it’s a reminder of the good times, and the things I liked (and loved) about him.    As a result, I try to keep exchanges to a minimum.   
In what was probably a band-aid move (or an ego boost), I got back into online dating a few weeks after we broke up.   I’ve mostly met some perfectly nice guys with whom I’ve felt no real chemistry.    
There was also one promising first date just the other day, but I won’t allow myself to get too excited this early (though the second date is on tap for tomorrow night).   For future reference, I'll call him 214 for now -- he's the 214th guy I've gone out with since I started keeping track of these numbers in 2005.  
And – in typical online dating style – I’ve come across the usual crazies.   I had a first date planned for the other night – “Tom” seemed normal enough via early OKC email.    I had a very busy week, so I suggested getting together later Tuesday evening, following a work-related party.  
That morning, I wrote to ask him if we could reschedule – I was concerned that the party might go late, and I didn’t want to miss out on a potentially good networking opportunity.    I also offered a few other nights for rescheduling.  (I know -- potentially bad form on my part to cancel same day -- but I was especially apologetic, and had a good excuse).  
He wrote back: best of luck with the shmooze, I hope it gets you what you want.
A bit snarky, but OK…    He later asked how the party went.   After a few exchanges by text, I asked for his email address, since I found it a bit easier to communicate that way.   He obliged.  
The next day, he texted me: maybe I'll find a woman with follow thru soon... 
This was about 18 hours after our previous communication.   
I wrote back that I’d been busy, but that that was probably a better option for him, and wished him the best of luck.      Dodged a bullet there.  I much prefer to suss out that a guy is a dillhole by email or text, than waste an evening out discovering same.   
Welcome back to NYC online dating!   

Tuesday, February 26, 2013


Breakups suck.

After 14 months of dating, Sam and I broke up this past weekend after struggling for the past few months.   I don't have the energy or inclination to go into details, but put simply:  we're at very different places in our lives.   He's in the midst of a divorce, with 3 young kids, and knows for sure that he doesn't want to get married again.    I could go either way as far as marriage, but I DO know that I want to live with someone -- I'd really like someone to come home to.    And he's not sure when / if he can offer that.

There's so much more, but I'll leave it at that.     Terrible roller coaster at the moment:  one minute, I'm feeling relieved not to be feeling the frustration I've been carrying the past few months.    The next minute, I'm sobbing in my office with my back to the door, hoping no one comes in.

I feel no desire whatsoever to jump back on the online dating bandwagon just yet.   Need to give time time.