Saturday, April 13, 2013

Back "out there"


It’s been nearly two months since my breakup with Sam.     I do still miss him quite a bit, but have (mostly) been good at shelving those feelings.   We occasionally exchange a cordial email, and every time I hear his email “voice”, it’s a reminder of the good times, and the things I liked (and loved) about him.    As a result, I try to keep exchanges to a minimum.   
In what was probably a band-aid move (or an ego boost), I got back into online dating a few weeks after we broke up.   I’ve mostly met some perfectly nice guys with whom I’ve felt no real chemistry.    
There was also one promising first date just the other day, but I won’t allow myself to get too excited this early (though the second date is on tap for tomorrow night).   For future reference, I'll call him 214 for now -- he's the 214th guy I've gone out with since I started keeping track of these numbers in 2005.  
And – in typical online dating style – I’ve come across the usual crazies.   I had a first date planned for the other night – “Tom” seemed normal enough via early OKC email.    I had a very busy week, so I suggested getting together later Tuesday evening, following a work-related party.  
That morning, I wrote to ask him if we could reschedule – I was concerned that the party might go late, and I didn’t want to miss out on a potentially good networking opportunity.    I also offered a few other nights for rescheduling.  (I know -- potentially bad form on my part to cancel same day -- but I was especially apologetic, and had a good excuse).  
He wrote back: best of luck with the shmooze, I hope it gets you what you want.
A bit snarky, but OK…    He later asked how the party went.   After a few exchanges by text, I asked for his email address, since I found it a bit easier to communicate that way.   He obliged.  
The next day, he texted me: maybe I'll find a woman with follow thru soon... 
This was about 18 hours after our previous communication.   
I wrote back that I’d been busy, but that that was probably a better option for him, and wished him the best of luck.      Dodged a bullet there.  I much prefer to suss out that a guy is a dillhole by email or text, than waste an evening out discovering same.   
Welcome back to NYC online dating!   

2 comments:

Waitress from Mensa said...

Happy to see, Loverville, that you are putting the past relationship in the proper perspective and diving back into the on-line acquaintanceship world intrepidly. Although we are strangers to each other, your adventures, and, well, resiliency, are a morale booster.

As to the most recent prospect: there seem to be so many of these self-absorbed, artless types these days. Hey, dude, it's not all about you. Onward.

Jennie said...

Good luck with 214! And that other guy sounds like a real loser. First, as Waitress says, it's not all about him. And second, it's very bad news that he's acting like you owe him something before you've even met him. You're well out of that one.

My experience of canceling dates has taught me so much about the guys concerned that I'm almost tempted to make it a policy, just to see how they would react! I won't of course - that would be game-playing - but I too have dodged some curveballs that way.

Onward and upward!